Monthly Archives: December 2012

Relationship killers.

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Applies to all types of relationships

Facebook.

On the 4th of February 2004, Mark Zuckerberg launched Facebook from his Harvard dormitory room. Little did he know the epidemic that would sweep the globe. This epidemic brought: arguments, breakups, betrayal and a lack of communication.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not blaming Mark Zuckerberg for his genius idea; I’m blaming the millions of us that signed up in the first place. It seems to me that a lot of people forget that we have a ‘friends’ list that see exactly what we write. All it takes is  one thing- you could be complimenting someone’s picture, or you may have added a cheeky wink at the end of a message and that’s enough to upset someone you care about. The same applies to tagged pictures – god that can lead you into some serious shit. Believe me I know what I’m talking about.

I don’t like Facebook because it gives me anxiety, if there’s anything I need to say then I’ll just text my friends I don’t need to make my life public. Thanks to Facebook I have stalking tendencies – so much so that I could be a professional spy. Unless you don’t have Facebook [you brilliant humans] then were all guilty of Facebook stalking. If I see something I’ll start to over think, which leaves me in a bad mood – then I have to come clean about Facebook stalking.

Despite all of this I still have Facebook but –  HOWEVER I created a new profile to break off from the anxiety. I only have about 70 friends as opposed to the 534 on the other account.

0-Anti-Facebook

Lack of communication/effort.

This probably does it the most to me. I hate not knowing where I stand with someone. It drives me crazy. People need to be appreciated; it’s not a difficult concept to understand. When one of my friends does something to show me how much I mean to them, it’s the best feeling. It doesn’t need to be constant because then you get into a routine. Try and avoid getting into routines with relationships because it can turn them into chores. It’s nice to surprise the people you care about.

If someone upsets me I have no problem telling them, otherwise keeping it in just makes it worse. Honesty may not always be nice but at least things get said. Why would I avoid telling someone soemthing that can prevent them from making the same mistake twice?.

Sometimes I forget the fact we can’t read minds. The the only way we can reflect how we feel is by saying and then showing it through our actions.

Open-Communication-Is-A-Must-For-Success-And-Happiness

Suffocation.

It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship you have with someone, people will always need space. Space sounds scary but the truth is – you should never form deep attachments with people because we’re all going to die once you depend on someone to make you happy, things can always go wrong. I love my phone, it’s my baby and I will take it everywhere with me, including the toilet – but that doesn’t mean I’m constantly messaging everyone. If you message someone all the time – what happens when you see each other? What’s left to talk about?

One of the worst things we can do to the people we love is suffocate them. If someone doesn’t message back instantly – it doesn’t mean their ignoring us. If someone doesn’t have time to meet on the weekend – it doesn’t mean they’ve replaced us.
Think of our relationships like elastic bands, sometimes we need to pull away and have our own time, but then we come back together. Good elastic bands refuse to snap.

There are hundreds of things that can ruin relationships but these are my top three. Friendships take a long time to happen, so think about that before doing something that could ruin that. You never know how much someone means to you until there gone.

10 things that turn women off.

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I couldn’t arrange them from the most important to the least, so there in the order I wrote them out.

1. Chat up lines.

Regardless of what I say – girls be prepared to come across at least one chat up line in your life.

This is how it will almost always go. You’ll be in a club or bar with your girls and all of a sudden this douche bag comes over to you. The guy is guaranteed to have had a few before approaching you (Dutch courage). He will then stand too close to you – enough to make you feel uncomfortable before starting the casual chit chat. That’s just the warm up. Out of nowhere he will pull the horny face before using the chat up line. You all know what I’m talking about – the look that makes him look like a desperate arrogant twat.

I will react in two ways; laugh to avoid awkwardness or simply be awkward depending on how much I’ve had to drink.

Honestly guys you’d be better off trying to pull a ‘loose girl’ because most girls won’t give you the time of the day.

As much as I cringe listening to chat up lines, my personal favourite is:

Guy: can I use your phone?

Me: why?

Guy: I told my mum I would call her when I fall in love

Me: *eruption of laughter, smile and walk away*

The moral of this is to just don’t use them.

 

2. Bad personal hygiene.

I will keep this short but sweet. If you don’t shower, or more importantly brush your teeth then you will never progress further than the friend zone with any girl. I feel for the girl who has to kiss a mouth with un-brushed teeth, it must feel great to be diving into all the plaque and left over food. Yummy.

;

3. Mind games.

You all do this, even if you don’t realise it. It gets a big thumb down from me. Women are arguably more in control of their feelings, and we have the ability to express ourselves quite well. However guys are more indecisive everything is ‘complicated’ when it comes to emotions. This doesn’t apply to all guys, but a lot think its ok to change their minds whenever it suits them. Emotions aren’t something to be playing with – screw us over once and we won’t let you forget it. If you like us then tell us but if you don’t then let us down gently. This isn’t like the Sims where you can create your own story and start over again – its real life.

 

4. He’s more into football than he’s into you.

I’ve grown to love football over the course of year so I know why most guys love the sport. However if you constantly talk about football it will turn us off. It’s ok to talk about football occasionally but try and keep the conversations about mutual interests. When the big football events come around men cease to exist – unless you’re their favourite footballer you may as well not speak.

 

5. Tight with money.

I know your money is your own – but tightness just annoys me. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship we have it’s just a bad trait to have. We all know someone who is tight – you ask them for some money (which you’ll pay back) and they just say they haven’t got money, when you know for a fact they do.

 

6. Cancelling plans.

The amount of times this has happened to me – I hate it. The only excuse you can get away with is being on your death bed. If you’re going to cancel do it in the morning or at least 4 hours in advanced because it still gives me time to plan something else. It just shows such a lack of interest when you text me or ring me before I’m about to leave.

 

7. No goals or ambitions.

Didn’t you hear were living in times of crisis? Girls love a man who knows what he wants – it shows organisation and shows progress for a future. You don’t need to be 100% certain about what you want in life, but a guy who shows some sort of plan is more attractive than someone who has no clue.

 

8. Lack of respect for women.

If I ever hear you refer to me or any other female as ‘birds’ just forget you know me. Somehow in your head when you look at the opposite sex you see people with wings? Last time I checked I didn’t have wings so don’t refer to us as animals. I also can’t stand guys that have no idea they live in the 21st century. News flash – women are equals. Tell me to go to the kitchen, and I’ll come out with a pan to smack you with.

 

9. Bad manners.

I know we live in a world where we wouldn’t function without our phones – but surely if were out you don’t need to be on it 24/7. I see this all the time, couples that are eating but aren’t actually talking to each other because one or the other is on their phone. Another thing I dislike is that a lot of guys don’t hold the door open – even if you’re in a rush you can spare a second. Manners are what show the difference between boys and men.

Nobody wants to introduce their parents to the ill-mannered boyfriend.

 

10. Flirting with every vagina in sight.

If were together, I don’t understand the compulsive reaction guys have to gawk at other girls right in front of our faces. Would you like it if we drooled over every hot guy we saw? You’re bound to find girls attractive but you need to understand that there is a huge difference between thinking it and acting it. Sometimes all it takes is one comment to knock our confidence and it hurts more if the one comment comes from the guy we like.

Guys don’t like to feel emasculated and girls hate feeling like second best.

 

If you’re are a guy that does any of the above

horrified!

horrified!

Shame on you! It’s time to change your ways.

Goodbye 2012

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According to my maths if we don’t die on the 21st then the end of 2012 happens in 17 days. Originally I was going to save this post till New Year’s Eve to end the year on a positive, but knowing me I wouldn’t want to write this unless I’m in a good mood- and I won’t be.
For the many of you that don’t know me – I hate the holidays. You can go as far as to call me the Grinch but that’s me. However I have decided to make this post positive rather than negative.
2012 has been the quickest year of my life to date. I remember last Christmas like it was yesterday. I would be lying if I said I was going to miss 2012 – aswell as being quick, it’s been a pretty awful year. I thought it would be pretty easy to write about the downs of the year so instead I’m going to write about 12 highlights of the year. Trust me when I say this is going to be challenging.

1. In terms of transformation this year saw me celebrate a 50 pound weight loss. 50!!! It doesn’t even seem real to write that figure down but I did manage it. Losing weight boosted my confidence towards the second half of the year. If anyone is struggling with losing weight, know it can be done–it just takes time and dedication. It sounds like a cliché but its true.

Celebrating the weight loss
Celebrating the weight loss

2. I got into university – as you know if you read the ‘about’ tab – I’m a journalism student from City University London. If you want to be a journalist and you live abroad then City is the only place to be.

3. I got a tattoo this year with the words ‘yaya’ on my right wrist. Yaya was my first word and it’s what I refer to as my gran in Spanish. But for normal people the word in Spanish is ‘abuela’.

4. On my 18th birthday I got the most beautiful video made to me by my cousin.  It’s just flawless and the effort is insane. At some point I will try to upload it onto here so all you lovely people can see.

5. This really goes out to all of my friends. I don’t think I ever truly appreciated them as much as I have this year. Just to name a few: Chantal, Luisa, Elena, Athena, Jess, Ngoc, Kat, Sarah, Jayla, Neil, Alex and Sam – each of them have helped me in one way or another. Without them I would be completely lost. Like I said I’ve just mentioned a few, I have had a lot of support from my friends this year.

6. I FELL IN LOVE. Yes believe it or not I fell in love with the one and only PITBULL. If you follow me on Twitter you know I pest him quite a bit to follow me. Being a Latina it was bound to happen. I know he has haters but well haterz gonna hate ite?

A love like ours has no bounds
A love like ours has no bounds

Half way done and this is proving harder as I go along.

7. I went to see Owl City with my best friend (Chantal). The concert was in October and it was the highlight of the year. The opening sets are usually a waste of time but Matthew Koma was opening for Owl City and everyone there was fixed on him. His music is just incredible and relatable. We got the chance to meet him after the concert. It was the first time I had  used the word happy in a long time – music is just the ultimate escape from reality and for 2 hours I was in a space of people who just didn’t care about what was going on outside of the concert. It also helped that Chantal got slightly drunk and professed her undying love for me.

Matthew Koma, Adam Young, Me & Chantal

Matthew Koma, Adam Young, Me & Chantal

 8. I’m thankful that my family haven’t had any health problems this year. It may not count as a highlight but well I’m running out of things to say.

9.  I bought tickets to see MAROON 5 AND RIHANNA. Give me a moment while I fangirl.

10. I ran a 5k in 22 minutes. The key to doing this is by imagining you’re running next to someone you dislike and trying to beat them. I won’t tell you who I was imagining though ;)

11. The codenames me and my girls made up for nights out incase we come across unwanted attention. I call myself either liza/Camden. Chantal calls herself BANIA – as in Bane from batman and Luisa calls herself Lexie.

12. This last highlight is more like a realisation – although it’s been a hard year for me for many different reasons, I feel like I’ve taken everything that came my way and made the most out of every bad situation. Sometimes we need to brave the storms because they don’t last forever. I promise

It may have taken me a few hours but the list is done!

To everyone reading my blog, I appreciate every hit I get and if you had a shitty year then know you’re not alone.

Every cloud has a silver lining and I have a good feeling that this time next year I’ll be able to write 24 highlights rather than struggle writing 12.

Christmas gifts for the men in your life

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XMAS GIFTS FOR THE MEN IN YOUR LIFE

DAD

I guess this is the easiest category for me seeing as mine isn’t in my life. So instead I asked some of my mates to contribute.

Aftershave

Simple but effective, it’s probably better to buy a set that way it looks like you’ve bought more than you have.

Wallet

Pielnoble – have a beautiful range of wallets. Your dad may not go as far as to call the wallet beautiful but he will be pretty chuffed. Who doesn’t love the smell of leather?

DVDS

I guess this is one department where you just can’t go wrong. You know the kind of genre your dad likes so just search for those types of box sets.

Friend

I have a lot of guys friends, I think it’s easier to be mates with guys because it usually equals less drama. So if you’re like me I’m sure you’ll be investing in plenty of sexy calendars for the guys. Like in my previous post you can find relatively cheap ones in HMV.

 HOWEVER

Having someone to call a best friend is trickier. My issue with this is what if he doesn’t get you anything and you look soo damn stupid if you’ve made a serious effort (which I would).

I guess in all honesty I would probably buy my best guy friend either Abercrombie perfume/ aftershave (if you haven’t just go in and smell their range). It smells ridiculously good. I would also maybe go out of my way to buy him something special in terms of clothing – possibly branded.

You can also do what I suggested for the girls:

  • Take him for lunch and buy him something small while you’re out.
  • Go for Christmas drinks

The guy you like

This is always more awkward for girls to approach but you could try sending out some signals out. You can casually ask him what he’s hoping for in 2013 whilst imagining yourself as his girlfriend. In all seriousness if you feel some sort of chemistry you may aswell risk telling him, you have nothing to lose except him saying no – you’re just a step closer to getting a yes.

The boyfriend

Somehow I always feel in the zone when writing about what to buy boyfriends.

Toys

Guys love to be entertained; the 3 year old within them never disappears. I recommend remote controlled cars just because I enjoy playing with them too. A reasonable price would be about £25 and if you know your man likes a specific kind of vehicle, go out of your way to see if a remote controlled toy exists.

Fun days out

I think you can find these packages anywhere.

You can find anything to suit your boyfriend’s needs – http://www.buyagift.co.uk/

 Personalised gifts

I can’t stress enough how much I love giving personalised gifts.  One of the gifts I enjoyed making the most was a huge scrap book where I edited the pictures and made different designs for each page. In the moment it’s a so tiring but when they receive the present it’s bliss.

My top 3 websites for personalised gifts are:

I have accounts on all three because collectively they act like my present bible. I don’t think you can go wrong if you check out these sites and give the present some thought.

Clothes

There is no drama when buying the boyfriend clothes, just purely because somewhere down the line you know there size and they practically tell you what they like. Plus I don’t know if you’ve noticed but if they like a brand it’s practically all they wear until they move on.

Hopefully that helped in some sort of way. You can see a different in length. Guys are just more straight forward to shop for.

Happy shopping – the countdown is on.

Christmas gifts for the women in your life!

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XMAS GIFTS FOR THE WOMEN IN YOUR LIFE

Mum

The hardest category by far just because you have no idea what they like or want. If I think it’s hard - it must be ten times worse for guys.

Skin products

I personally think if your mum is conscious of how she looks then any products from Liz Earle are a must. Liz Earle is a beauty range that leaves your skin in perfect condition.

You can search online for the products or go to John Lewis who practically has all of the range.  This year I’m getting my mum a few things from the makeup collection so you may as well too.

The body shop

Consider The Body Shop sweet smelly heaven; I’m sure you can buy your mum a set of hand creams or something along those lines.

Books

Need I say more?

Pashminas

The posh way of saying an elegant scarf – best stores are M&S and The Tie Rack!

You can never go wrong with perfume, instant success.

Friend

This does sort of depend on how much she actually means to you.

If she’s just a friend that really has no real impact of your life and you want to buy her something small then a calendar does the job. You can always find deals in HMV like 2 for £10 so it’s a pretty good opportunity for gifts.

HOWEVER

If she’s a close friend or best friend (which guys don’t admit to) then it is slightly different.

Every girl is different but speaking on behalf of many girls, we like to be appreciated. It doesn’t matter if we don’t like each other in an intimate way but if we have a strong enough of a bond to confide in each other then it would be nice to be acknowledged.

I also know I speak for many girls when I say we get taken for granted a lot of the time. If you’ve screwed it up with her this year make the effort to let her know you.. dare I say it .. love her and appreciate her friendship.

  • You can either write her a heartfelt Christmas card then make her pinky promise to not tell anyone ever.
  • Take her for lunch and buy her something small while you’re out.
  • Go for Christmas drinks

At the end of the day, your best girlfriend will be there whenever you’re having the worst times of your life.  Having a best friend sounds similar to having a girlfriend – it kind of is you just don’t have feelings for her or sometimes see her as a sister.

The girl you like

In this case you must channel your cheesy self and get a Christmas card saying ‘to my girlfriend’ and then you add a question mark on the card.

Or

You sing all I want for Christmas is you – classic winner.

Good luck to you!

The girlfriend

The best advice I can give for buying your girlfriend a present is to make sure your effort comes across.

Flowers

YES YES YES YES And a cute bunch ok. Notice I said cute not expensive, you could spend £100 on flowers but there still going to die. Because she’s your girlfriend at least have the decency to walk with them – just because she may repay the favour for being so kind!

I think getting them sent to your house can be cute if you aren’t expecting them but I would rather see the effort of having a guy walk all the way to my house to hand my some flowers.

The flowers aren’t a must but they are a cute touch.

Personalised gifts

I’m an overly romantic girl so I am a huge huge huge fan of personalised gifts. There’s just something about the effort to make something a little special that makes me jittery.

My top 3 websites for personalised gifts are:

I have accounts on all three because collectively they act like my present bible. I don’t think you can go wrong if you check out these sites and give the present some thought.

Clothes

I think you can pull off buying clothes as long as you abide by these rules:

  • Know her size- this includes shoe size too!! Please please please don’t even think about getting any item of clothing if you don’t know her size. Just imagine the look of horror when she sees you’ve bought her something two sizes too small.  Having said that -don’t forget that some girls are different sizes for top and bottom so always have a note written down.
  • You get a gift receipt. If she ends up not liking what you bought then you can easily pull out the gift receipt. She might be annoyed at first but at least she can exchange your gift for something she likes.
  • Match the clothes with her dress sense. If your girlfriend is almost always in jeans and a T-shirt – don’t go completely off the rails and buy her glittery shorts. Instead try buying her branded jeans.

If you can’t find anything she will like but you still want to get her something get a set of onesies for the both of you.

Just because I put things into categories doesn’t mean you can’t mix and match. It’s not a fixed rule it’s just something to go by. Just incase anyone is wondering there will be another post either tonight or tomorrow for what to get the men in your life for xmas!

IF ANY OF MY GUY FRIENDS ARE READING THIS OR SOMEONE FROM THE WORLD WE CALL THE INTERNET WANTS TO GET ME SOMETHING FOR CHRISTMAS –  PLEASE GOOD GOD JUST GET PITBULL TO FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER. I’LL GO AS FAR AS MARRY YOU IF YOU MANAGE IT.