Makeover May

It’s May and it feels like time is just flying by, but I’m ready to embrace this month with open arms. Last week I decided it was time for a little mini makeover, hair, tattoos, clothes and all that jazz.

 Instead of writing about it I thought I would show you through pictures.

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I love ombre hair and wanted a natural sun kissed look and I really love the result. As for the blow dry, i got it curled , because my hair doesn’t look good when its dead straight.

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Last Sunday I decided to be a little impulsive and I went to Topshop, Oxford Street, to pay the deposit on my two new tattoos. Metal Morphis is in the basement, with an array of other beauty gems like a salon and nail bar. The staff are really friendly and I was in and out in under 20 minutes.

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No makeover is complete without a little wardrobe re vamp.

(From left to right) The shorts are from Topshop, being over 6ft its hard to find shorts that compliment my height, because I worry about them being overly short but these are a perfect fit,  they have a  wide leg which will be perfect in the summer. The crop top is from Forever 21. The trainers are from Sketchers and they are the comfiest shoes I have ever had,  they have memory foam for insoles so they completely support your feet. I needed new trainers as I’m running Race for Life this year and they are so amazing I bought another pair. The dresses are from H&M, I started off with one in my hand but I could resist getting them all. They compliment my figure and my height and I love the colours.

I’m not sure what sparked this little makeover but I’ve enjoyed doing little bits and bobs this week and its gotten me into a summery mood.

I hope you’re all having a lovely weekend.

Until next time x

Dealing with insecurities

Everyone has insecurities, some might be minor and some insecurities take extreme forms. I know what it like is to cover the spectrum.

Insecurities stem from so many different things but essentially it’s down to people. One comment can stick with you for days, weeks or even years. And I know from experience as an overweight teenager what that’s like. No matter how much you change those words are still there taunting you in the back of your mind and it sucks.

I never wanted to write a blog post based on insecurities because there’s not much advice that I can give someone, as I deal with my insecurities daily. But last week someone planted a seed of doubt in my head and I let it defeat me and I got home and had a little cry.

The comment wasn’t about my looks or my personality but in hindsight I wish it had been, because comments like that cant affect me anymore. I came to terms knowing that you can’t be everyone’s cup of tea and growing up taught me to like who I am, flaws and all.

There’s not a quick fix when it comes to battling with insecurities. Even now the comments from last week go round and round in my head but there comes a point where you just have to let go of it. I personally think a good cry is ok, because I find crying therapeutic but as much as a comment can affect you, imagine how much it will affect the person when they realise they didn’t hurt you.

I think the best tip I could give anyone is confront your insecurities. Accept you’re not happy with something but then think about all the things you are happy with. Dealing with people who are making you insecure is often a little harder but I would say swallow that lump that creeps up at the back of your throat and remember that one insignificant person isn’t going to get one up on you. Because that’s all they are insignificant and irrelevant and you don’t need to acknowledge them or their comment.

How do you deal with insecurities?

Until next time!

x

Is your relationship in the gutter?

I’m not a relationship expert -far from it. But I do know the fundamentals of making any relationship work and fail.   I could write a list of 50 but it would be too generic. I’m going to write the three reasons that most interest me and really are reasons to believe your relationship is in turmoil.

Have they introduced you to their circle of friends?

If the answer is no then the first thing to consider is the amount of time you’ve been together. If it’s only been about six months to a year I wouldn’t worry too much. It’s still early territory.

If the answer is no and it’s been way over a year or more, then take a step back and ask yourself if it’s really going anywhere.  (P.S if you haven’t introduced them to your circle of friends, then no point being a hypocrite and skip to my next point.)

I think once you’re in a relationship, you can easily forget that your friends exist. But let’s face it bros before hoes, so why hasn’t he/she introduced you yet?  My guess is there probably not sure if you’re good enough to meet his friends. I personally wouldn’t introduce my boyfriend to my friends If I didn’t see it going anywhere.

Even if you’re not bothered about meeting their friends, personally it should be the thought that they want to show you off. If it’s been over two years, then run for hills and never look back!! Just joking, but really evaluate the way the little things they do affect your self-worth.

 

 Do they put others first?

Not sure what I mean? I’ll give you a hypothetical example (or is it?)

So imagine you’re in a happy relationship with your boyfriend, life is dandy but his brother’s girlfriend likes to flirt with your boyfriend and he does nothing.

Now let’s imagine you’ve told him time after time that it’s bothering you but yet it doesn’t continue to stop, so there both making you look like a tool.

Now does that sound even remotely similar to a situation with you? And is that someone you really want to be with? I’ll let you decide that.

 

Do they support your ambitions?

There is nothing worse than being with someone who doesn’t support your goals. Luckily I’ve never been with a guy like that, but many of my friends have.

Did they remember that you had an interview, the same interview you mentioned 20 times that week? Do they keep an interest with work and how everything’s going and more importantly do they push you to be the best version of you that you can be?

If it’s not a yes then maybe you should strive to find someone more ambition orientated. It’s not essential but if you’re both driven then you can motivate each other. Supporting each other through the highs and lows is what relationships are about and if you feel alone then is it worth staying with them if your’e miserable.

 Like I said earlier there are plenty more like trust etc.. but just saying trust is a little generic. I would be really interested to read what ones you would include on my list.

Until next time

Natalie x

The art of confidence #2

Last month I started ‘the art of confidence’, in a nutshell it’s a series aiming to tackle my biggest fears over a 12 month period.

Last month I set myself a few goals to face my anxiety, so its time to update you on my progress.

I started reading ‘Control Stress’  by Paul McKenna which includes a CD.  It’s a simple book to get through and the CD is straight forward. I think it’s a useful book to have in any collection, but not a self-dependent book to fix all your problems.

However, nothing could beat a weekend trip to Connemara, county Galway on the West Coast of Ireland.

The lifestyle was incredibly different to London. The biggest difference being that the people were so much friendlier. They were welcoming and far more receptive, making them visibly  relaxed. It was a nice break from the London zombies.It was the perfect place to unwind and if you’re in need of a good nights sleep, that’s the place to be.

I’m not saying that going away fixes anything, because it doesn’t but it took my mind off a lot of things.

 

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When I got back from Ireland I found out that one of my relatives came down with an illness, and being a small family, it hit us pretty hard. Not being able to help was the hardest part.  Things got on top of me for the remainder of February. But the good news is that they’re better and making a brilliant recovery.

I think it goes to show that anything can happen at any time, and it’s better to enjoy each day as it arrives.

Now onto March, it’s a month filled with birthdays; including mine so I think that it makes sense to focus on letting go of negativity as I approach  20.  I can hold grudges for a long time and I always bring up the past, even though it pointless I still do it.  But imma try anyway.

Until then, Happy March everyone.

 

The art of confidence

The one thing I’ve always lacked is confidence. I’ve never been a believer in myself or my ambitions which is why I struggle to rarely commit to anything and see things through. It never bothered me until I noticed it was hindering my ability to enjoy things. By the end of last year I knew I was ready to make a few changes – I wouldn’t call it my new year’s resolution because I never see them to the end either.

I know it’s something a lot of people deal with, which is why I’m writing about it, in an attempt to help anyone else struggling.

My aim is simple; by December 2014 I will have embraced a PMA (positive mental attitude) and start looking at my goals as achievable.

The way this will work; every month I will focus on a certain aspect to work on and at the end of the month I will write a new post on the art of confidence. Hopefully I stick to this because in case you hadn’t noticed I’m not very reliable at blogging.

First step; working on my anxiety. I think it’s in my DNA to be stressed which doesn’t help when other factors are thrown in. I panic about everything, even things that haven’t happened.  . It’s controlled my decisions for a long time and its time I took some control back. I have a few things I want to try; reading, group exercise, meditation among others.

I don’t know how things will go, but I’m determined to make this work.

I’ll let you know how it all goes.

Back to Blogging

I’m trying to ease myself into this post; I didn’t remember this being so difficult.

I know I’ve been AWOL for a few months but I have a good(ish) explanation.

If you’ve been following my blog, you’ll know my last post was about my dad. I contemplated publishing what I had written for days because it made me feel vulnerable talking about something I rarely talk about with anyone, let alone the internet.

My post how to be a dad had a great response.  A lot of my friends, family and some of you who read my blog sent me such nice messages of  support and some of you even shared your stories. However I always imagined my blog was immune to my dad’s family, apparently not.

Two of his family members got in touch with me. It scared me, I felt like this bubble I created for myself had been popped. Although they hold no blame, I think it was a natural reaction to just hide away.

I’ve missed writing a lot. It’s like therapy, you can just write these complete rambles and you know somewhere in bloggers land someone else is doing the same.

All that aside, I am back, with a lot of posts to get published. I  thought it would be pretty cool to just have a photo collage of the things I’ve done since my break, with a few snaps from my summer and other events, so enjoy.

 CONCERTS

After a year of anticipation I finally went to see Pitbull in Concert. I only took videos inside, so I just threw in a next day shot. Don’t we make such a cute couple?

I also saw One Republic and was lucky enough to go to Capital FM Summertime Ball.

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SUMMER HOLIDAYS

My baby cousin Becky came to visit us for a weekend in London and about a month later I went to Fuerteventura for a week with one of my favorite people.

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DISNEYLAND

Most recently me and mum went to Disneyland Paris for 3 days.

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THE RANDOM

There was a contest for Enrique Iglesias fans to submit pictures for a fan video for his new song ‘Turn the night up’ and my picture was chosen. Joy to the world.

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That was just a few of many pictures I took over the last few months. The majority of my yearly pictures will feature on my ‘Goodbye 2013′ post which will be similar post to last year.

I also forgot to mention that its Nat’s Natter first Birthday which makes it a good time to start writing again. I’ll stop rambling now and a new post will be up this weekend.

Adios.

How to be a dad

The title gave it away didn’t it? Seeing as I’d like to think were interfriends (internet friends) I thought it would be nice to write a more personal post.

Like many people around the world, I grew up without a dad. My mum left him when I was 3 because he wasn’t a nice guy. Having left things with him; she encouraged us to have a relationship – something he had no intention of committing to.

I last saw him when I was 3 but what strikes me the most is that I had no idea that the last time I saw him would be the last- but somehow my 3 year old brain must have sensed it because I can remember that day perfectly. I could recall the day in perfect detail; from what I was wearing, to where we ate and so on. Weird right?

I’m now 19 with no clue as to who he is or what his life is like. I may have over 100 half siblings for all I know.

Although I had a brilliant upbringing, the void was undeniable. The void was something my mum could see through my eyes, and I think it mutually broke our hearts. I was mourning for her and she was mourning for me, she always wanted me to have a father figure, just as I wanted the ‘picture perfect family’.

 

Like mother, like daughter

Like mother, like daughter

 

I remember one specific sports day, I must have been about six, my mum rushed over to me to tell me there was a surprise visitor waiting at the house, and I instantly thought it was my dad – stupid me. It turned out to just be some extended family. I’m pretty sure I cried after they left.

Being the creative girl I am, I told my primary school friends that my dad had died and was a sailor and was eaten by the ‘big’ fish in the sea. I was a funny girl even at a young age. It landed me into trouble at one point since one of the girls I told, told her mum who asked my mum if it was true. As funny as the lie may be, it also leaves a sad afterthought.

However my mum always made sure that I grew up with a positive image of my dad – but she couldn’t fool me. She used to tell me off for ripping up pictures with him in them, and told me that he loved me even if he didn’t show it. Liar liar pants on fire.

 

I told you I ripped up photosI told you I ripped up photos

I think that was the hardest thing to deal with, not knowing why he didn’t love me. I had a theory where I thought everyone I loved would leave me. Luckily that theory proved to not be true.

This all may seem a little sad but this is far from a sob story because I had a happy ending. The women in my life have given their lives for me; my mum is the strongest stubbornness lady I know but loves me unconditionally. She helped me through some of the darkest periods in my life; she was there every doctor’s appointment, every sleepless night and every success I’ve encountered. I have the most amazing support systems, my uncle Carlo who has acted like my dad throughout the years, my cousins who treat me like siblings and my friends who have loved me even with my weird tendencies.

The one thing I always wanted to do was learn how to ride a bike, but I spent years not trying because I craved having that ‘fatherly/man’ figure to teach me. Well alas last year me and a few friends took to Regents Park and in the space of two hours I learned how to ride a bike. Hooray. I guess I never needed him.

Relationships don’t always work out- that in itself is understandable but to not be a dad? There’s no excuse.

In the words of my mature self – GROW A DAMN PAIR and do what’s best by your child. It doesn’t matter what happened between you and your partner that doesn’t give you a free pass to neglect your child. You may just regret it one day and the damage will be done. Actions do leave emotional scars and thankfully I benefitted from not having my dad around but unfortunately some people suffer gravely. Honestly if there’s anything I’ve learned is that it’s their loss, not ours.

Friends have the ability to inspire and that’s exactly what my friend Kat or as I like to call her KATRINA has done since I met her. She reminds me a lot of my mum in the sense that she’s also a single mother trying to do the best by her daughter. Although she has the loving support of her family, friends and her boyfriend, her daughter Summer has no contact with her dad purely out of his own choice. How or why should she have to explain to Summer that her father just doesn’t want any contact with her?

Kat has turned her story into a blog which I also encourage you to read – http://vulturesandbutterflies.wordpress.com

There’s always been a stigma surrounding single mothers, but I admire them. They have such strength to be able to multi task and deserve more credit than they get. Having said that – this post isn’t meant to offend decent fathers out there, but it’s supposed to highlight the negative impact crappy fathers have on children.

Baby me, pointing at all the bad dads out there to make a change

Baby me, pointing at all the bad dads out there to make a change

At the end of the day it takes more than sperm to call yourself a dad.